Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
