I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
