Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
