Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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