therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
