people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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