somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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