I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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