I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
His nipple licking is glorious
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
