I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
