I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
