Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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