Sry I called you an 8
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
