once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
