this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
