okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
