Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
