You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
