I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
