I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize