If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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