Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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