It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
