Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
