You don't have asthma, your pregnant
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
