i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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