my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
