im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
