Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
