My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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