so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
