mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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