I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
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It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
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You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I am available for nakedness
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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