There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
