i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
