We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
