im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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