I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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