Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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