During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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