put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
