You really coming over, don't trick.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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