everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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