You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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