he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
