you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This is the high leading the old right now
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
