But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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