So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
