Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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