you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
