i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
