Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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