idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
