I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
