she was so not down for the gang bang
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
