It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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