marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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