Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
