bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize