Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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